Are They Really Your Friends?

Are they really

3 Tips for Evaluating Whether or Not You Have a True Circle of Friends

If you’ve ever met me, you would probably perceive me as a shy or quiet person that’s indifferent to having friends. Catch me on the wrong day, and this statement might be true! But guess what? I’m just as human as you are, and like most, I crave having a connection. What I’ve learned from simply living and communicating with others is that there is a distinct difference between friendships and acquaintances. There is a defining action between a person who claims to have your back and the one truly does. And, there is a difference in the character of the person who you confide your secrets in comparison to the one  you chat with about what you watched on tv last night.

True friendships are valuable. Your friends can provide the inspiration to keep going; they build you up when you are weak; and can provide advise that you can  use.So how do make the right call without getting burned? How do you determine if the relationship in front of you is truly a friendship? Here are the three things that I access when I think about the interactions with the people in my life. I hope this lists helps you recognize and appreciate your true friends!

The Trust Factor

When you tell your friend something that you want no one else to know, do they provide a listening ear that processes the information but is never repeated to anyone else? Or are they listening for the details that will make good conversation with another person? Are they providing words of encouragement? Are they willing to walk with you through your issue, offer usable advice and check on you? If you don’t see any of these actions in the person you call “friend”, you might need to reevaluate your relationship.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T (Put some Respec’ on it)

Respect comes in many different forms: There’s the common courtesy of manners, which is something everyone deserves. Respecting someone’s feelings, which looks more like understanding what someone is going through. Respecting someone’s space, which is very important when someone needs additional time to process whatever they’re going through. Respect is almost like an intuition, and a true friend knows how to treat you, come from a place of understanding, and when to give your space. As you evaluate your connections, search for the role respect plays in your friendships.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Is your friend willing to walk through the fire with you? Is this person available not only in the good times, but is looking for ways to help you when your situation bleak and unpromising? Does your friend display the discernment to know when to provide empathy and when to tell you you’re in the wrong? A good friend is not only your biggest cheerleader, but also knows how to keep you grounded. Look for the person in your life who values  balance and understands the importance of these actions and you’ve found your true friend.


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